Satiromancomedy

Your gratitude

2010-11-18T13:01:00.001-08:00

You should be thanking me

For gracing your stage

For putting on display this bodacious

For lighting up your fire

Sharing on my ride

Can’t no other bring it like I do

I am the wind that carries your dreams

I’ve brought grown men to their knees

With smile or a wink

Be thankful I’m sparing you

The full extend of my beauty

Keri talking about being hated for her beauty?

I was meaning of the word before it was defined

I give breath to singers

I’m the muse to artists

Yes you should be thanking me

For basking in my presence

And so as I stand bringing shine to your world

I accept your gratitude

You are appreciated

2010-11-18T12:40:00.001-08:00

So you know I appreciate you…

I wake you with a warm mouth, yeah I claim what is mine

Wake up at dawn to make sure you get a hot breakfast

Make you a hot plate and sometimes serve it in bed

Or join you in the shower to help wash your back

So you know that value you

I leave little notes in your coat and briefcase

Tell you I appreciate the way you hold it down at home

Call you to sweet talk or dirty talk you

Lock us up in your office for naked lunch picnic

So you know that I’m thankful for you

I set out your dinner before you come home

Give you a should rub three times a week

Don’t nag about my day and not give your beef

Greet at the door in stilettos and smile on my face

So I’ve shown and I’ve done and I’ve had it up to here

With your whining and complaining that you don’t get my respect

I’m not asking for the world, but a back rub would be nice

Or a call to tell me baby, I will cook for you tonight

I work as many hours and bring in the bulk of the pay

But just so you don’t stray, and don’t feel underappreciated

And start getting emotionally disconnected because

I don’t pat you on your back for the things you’re SUPPOSED to do

I’ll continue to show you that I’m grateful for you

In fact, baby, just forget all the rants I just gave

I’ve drawn up your bath, let’s go relax

Your game is about to come on

And we don’t want your beer to get cold

Thankful....yeah really

2010-11-18T12:21:00.001-08:00

I’m thankful for you

Telling me what to do

Who knew without you I could tie my shoes

I’m thankful for men

Don’t do what they should

Who knew I should reward you for saying hello

I’m thankful for shoes

That last till it rains

Who knew the ones from the dollar store used glue

I’m thankful for friends

Who listen with deaf ears

Who knew not every stranger is friend not met yet

I’m thankful for family

Who call once a year

Who knew that one call would be for a loan

I’m thankful for food

That don’t turn out right

Who knew that food poisoning was a quick way to shed pounds

I’m thankful for romance novels

That leaves me with envy

Who knew that no man can live up to those written fantasies

I’m thankful for days off

To run my home errands

Who knew the house wouldn’t eventually clean itself

I’m thankful for new cars

And high interest loans

Who knew that it was investment to buy a luxury ride

I’m thankful for me

And all that I do

Who new I’m the best the that would happen to you

Post Thanksgiving

2010-11-18T11:50:00.001-08:00

Twas the hour after meal on Thanksgiving Day

Nobody was stirring and ev’n the dog lay

The ‘aitis had got them like food always do

But everyone knew soon the party would ensue

The men on the couches worshipped the big screen

Inside the kitchen, the kids made things clean

Some moms with the men tried to follow the game

But waking at 4 really put out their flame

Then children were locked up in a room upstairs

And all of their parents they were all downstairs

No kid would dare peek out or sneak out in coyness

For fear of back hand slaps for minding grown folks bidness

Out came Dominos and Spades to be played

Some sipped on eggnog or mixed drinks homemade

The sales ads were scoped for Black Friday deals

To the kitchen some went for repeat of the meals

Then came the morning or more like midnight

When mama and aunty prepared for the fight

They mapped out the setup of stores they would see

Wal-Mart at midnight, then Target by three

Now Robert, Jamilliah, now Damon and Aimee

On Raven, Anita, on Garrett and Amy

To the store at the mall, to the front of the line

Now push away, push away, this is all mine!

With car full of toys, ‘lectronics and clothing

Fatigued to boot from all of bargaining

We checked out storefronts and many displays

Oh yes, it’s official, it’s now the Holidays

Read

2010-09-13T04:24:00.000-07:00

Tear apart these words

That I place on paper

For your perusal

Tell me that you read what

I want you to see

That the depths of emotions

Are expressed in the ways

I feel them in my bones

Break apart the syllables

Use the punctuations to

Pause where I lingered

For understanding in my

Struggle to express the

Intensity of what I felt

As I penned the verses

Spilling from within

Rearrange the stanzas

And scramble the letters

To formulated new words

Of wisdom for generations

Bringing forth character

Revelation and or destruction

Read between the lines

Of BS and tell me

What you really see

Keyboard Courage

2010-09-13T04:07:00.000-07:00

When there’s a person that you like and your tongue can’t form the words

And body starts to sweat and your hands just want to shake

And you can’t be face to face

You need keyboard courage

When your friend needs to be told something they should really hear

That they’re making a mistake and their partner is an ass

And you know they gonna lash

You need keyboard courage

When your partner’s gotta go and they hurt with words or brawn

And you know they can persuade and you got no power of will

And you know you can’t say no

You need keyboard courage

When you're angry with your life or your boss or hate your job

When you purchase something good that turns out to be a dud

When you wait in line a while and cut off by a new formed line

You need keyboard courage

Keyboard courage, helping the multitude to overcome the fear of forming word instantly

Giving the user the confidence to formulate written defenses that could

Impact the receiver in ways that could never be accomplished orally

Not only for those you know, but can be directed at the general public

Texts, emails, letters, bloooooooooogs

Keyboard courage, especially heightened with a dose of liquid courage

SBPF ISO SM for FWB agreement

2010-09-10T09:52:00.001-07:00

Single black professional female

In search of single male

For friends with benefits agreement

Benefits of my choosing

If interested, please proceed

I seek a man of character and intelligence

To fulfill my need for conversation

Between the evening hours of 5 and 11

To stimulate my mind and be visually pleasing to my eyes

I seek a man of strength with handyman skills

To paint my deck, take out the trash and clean after I cook

A man to decorate my arms at events

Where family and friends expect one to be paired

I seek a man unafraid of horror flix

A cuddler to hold me when the storms are scary

A masseuse for those nights when I just too sore

A fighter to protect me ‘cause my friends know I don’t fight

I seek a prime specimen to entertain me at my will

To be my friend and confident

To not expect any sex

Oops, sounds like a different ad

Single Black Professional Female

In search of a husband.

Get off me

2010-09-09T11:26:00.000-07:00

Get off me

No! I’m not married and

There’s no special guy in my life

And there aren’t kids

But what does this wedding right now

That we’re here celebrating and enjoying

Has to do with my single existence

No I’m not next

Don’t toss me the dang bouquet

No don’t mail it to me either

I’ve caught 3 of the bloody things and

They just wither and die or collect dust

And yes I’m still picky cause I standards

Oh you getting married?

And you want me to be in it?

And wear that uncomfortable dress

And spend hundreds of dollars just to watch

Blow away a few thousands that you

Could be investing

Oh a baby, another one

I’m so freaking, gosh darn happy for you

I’m getting started on the blanket right away

And ooh and shower must be had

I just hope you know we’re in a recession

And I’m done buying birthday presents

You think I’m bitter

Noooooo, me, I’m happy for you

I just want you to stay out of my darn business

Stop telling me what to do

Stop asking me about my relationships

Right now I’m just gonna do me

The other, other woman

2010-09-09T09:08:00.001-07:00

What do you expect when you began as the other woman
He was taken when you stepped in
Accepting to believe that he was leaving
That the feelings were ceasing
That the love making was ending
Between them…

What do you expect when you stayed on as the other woman
He knows what he can get away with
You must not have gotten the memo
That sex with the ex is best
That what goes around comes around
You know Karma…

What do you expect when you become his woman
He was once a cheater
Don’t you know that it’s hard to change
That you might not have been the only
That now you have to wonder of his whereabouts
Wondering about the other, other woman…

Restricted Access - Haiku

2010-09-09T09:07:00.000-07:00

“Restricted Access”
Tattooed on my inner thighs
Reminder: “Say No”

This Woman

2010-09-09T09:04:00.000-07:00

This heart skips palpitations when ever you enter a room
It speeds in fear of yours not loving back as hard as it does
It throbs in anticipation of what’s to be made of this love
It pulses in search of the rhythm to your heart’s vibrations
This heart has known breaks and experienced the flutters of love taking flight

These eyes sparkle when they glimpse your form
They close to allow the other senses the pleasure of experiencing you
They water when emotions overwhelm the spirit
They seek out the windows to your soul in a crowded room
These eyes have seen sorrow and beauty in the faces of loved ones

These lips quiver at the thought of your kisses
They are nibbled when my nerves get the best of me in your presence
They pucker for your lushness of your kissers
They soften with expectation of finding your secret places
These lips have spew out hate and said words of love deeply felt

These hands shake at the thought of you holding them
They tremble and ache to touch the warmth of your skin
They conform to the shape of your sinewy muscles
They slide across acres of bed space to seek out your hands
These hands have been twisted and massaged by a lovers touch

These hips sway to the sound of your heart beat
They gyrate to the rhythm of our own music
They twist between your palms whenever we dance
They writhe above you in the throes of passion
These hips have told lies and dance truths in the name of love

This woman is a blend of heart, eyes, lips, hands, hips and many more
She has waited for you to come around for a long time
She has had lovers, but none like you
She has searched for happiness to compare to this moment
This woman has had pain, but lives to love again

Real

2010-08-18T19:25:00.001-07:00

I’m too shallow these days to get deep

With my words when all I feel lie on the surface

Of emotions so raw that a slight scrape can split

The thin skin holding it all in

I want to be able to say point blank that you disgust me

Not that your essence makes me wallow in agony

Because those words are too pretty for you

Why can’t I just say I’m tired

Instead of fatigue crushes my bones

Since I need but one word to say it all

I lost my patience ages ago

And when I wade it, my tolerance is only toe deep

Barely high enough to cover a penny

The only amount I’m willing to pay for what you’re worth.

Lovaholic

2010-08-18T19:23:00.000-07:00

I am a lovaholic through no fault of my own

I was preconditioned to not be alone

Was told even a girl living in cinders could one day find love

Not knowing the only love guaranteed was that from above

Every little girl does not grow up be the princess

With skin so pretty and body so flawless

Don’t want to rain on your parade

But you may just always play bridesmaid

Now I live with a compulsion to engage in acts

Or rather activities that do not add, but subtracts

From my character as I strive to unearth

The blemishes in my character that downgrades my worth

I exist in a constant state of obsession to track down

The love that was promised me and the wedding gown

That I dreamed of as a child reading of a white knight

And a damsel that should be me caught in his sight

Us lovaholics don’t know when to quit

Doesn’t matter if more pain is caused just to get a bit

Of satisfaction of that thing we crave

Blind to the type destruction that could pave

The road to hell and back

Not caring that each relapse is a setback

That we cannot afford to transpire

Since every obstacle spreads disaster like a brushfire.

I am a lovaholic, through no fault of my own

I was preconditioned to not be alone

They call this dating

2010-08-18T08:08:00.000-07:00

I was standing at the airport and overheard a girl on the phone
"Oh my god, he was so not my type, but he was so nice
And he paid for dinner, open my doors and when we got to hotel
he actually walked me to the door. Have you ever heard of that?
He wasn't even that cute, but I invited him in and ...."

Well she walked away, but you can imagine. I was so disheartened
What has this world come to that chivalry must now be rewarded with sex or an invite for a nightcap.
I mean how hard is it for a young attractive woman to find a date who
Opens the doors, pay for dinner and walk her to the door.
Apparently very hard cause I started thinking about my past dates
Maybe it would have been easier if I'd met them offline
Ladies, be skeptical about a full body picture that's only 2 inches long
In his distant picture, guy one was GQ
But he showed up for the date looking Eweew
Dude had a shirt that was beyond wrinkle and dare I say it, dirty jeans
No not the color, it was just plain dirty
We met at the movies and when he showed up, told me that he had
Had to gas the car and wondered if I'd get this date
My momma always told me; take enough to pay your way
I paid for the date and fool had the nerve to ask if I want a snack
What, so I can shell out more cash?

I got had by date number 2
I was flattered that he drove 4 hours to see me,
Little did I realized how much it would really cost me
We... I mean I drove us 2 hours away from my small town
Spent an hour going through sex shops and this was before he fed me
Drove back home and went to IHOP
Where he paid for his meal and left me to pay mine and the tip
Can you believe he thought he deserved to get some?
What he got was the couch and a one way trip back where he came from.

On another site, I met date 3
We talked for weeks and he seemed real cool
I wasn't attracted, but the conversation was good...until
Until we met in person
Oh he paid the bill which I thought was nice
And spent so much of the night talking down his ex wife
I felt I was married to her by the date's end
I didn't know, that was just a link, to get to my friend
who wouldn't take his hint.

Now comes date 4 the kind I run into a whole more
Whatever happened to the telephone?
To voicemails and whispered chats
Remember when you would call someone up
Just to chat?
Or they would call you up and ask if you were busy
And then chat?
Now thanks to technology, speech is being eradicated
Phone numbers are simply for texting
And voicemails are ignored in lieu of emails
With this guy it took effort from website to IM to email then gave him my number
Only for him to keep sending me dang text messages
If I knew you only wanted to do thumb typing
I could have saved up my texts and skipped giving you the number
Whatever happened to the telephone?
To voicemails
And people using the lure of their voice to seduce?
No wonder I didn’t even bother go on a real date.

Is it any wonder a girl can get excited about a guy who opens the door, pays the bill and walks her to her door and not expect anything?

Empowered

2010-08-10T14:15:00.000-07:00

I guess this is the part where I’m supposed to say you broke my heart
Skip that, brother, I feel like I now have a new start
I guess this is the part where I’m supposed to cry
No way, with all I have, I’m going to fly
I guess this is the part where I hide away in pain
I don’t think so, I’ve got so much more to gain
With the time that you’ve wastedI see that as experience tasted
Now savored with thoughts of the tastes I’ve had before you
I take this mixture of samples from life
Concoct a dish some say should be served cold
The best revenge that I can dole outIs to live my own happily ever after
Thanks for the good times and the lessons learned.

NAKED

2010-07-09T06:13:00.000-07:00

Ha ha, I heard that they got NAKED here
I came cause I heard they shared stories here
I thought they shared stories NAKED
But I learned they shared NAKED stories
Stories that touch the soul and
Spans a wealth of emotions
Stories of laughter, pain, and sorrow
Stories that reflect the lives of the tellers

I came cause I heard people sang here
I thought they sang in the raw
But I learned the only thing raw were the emotions
Songs with and without melody flows
From the lips of artistes on a mission
In life to get you to see their side
Their story, dream their dream

I came cause I heard they spoke words hear
I thought he words would be clothed by flourish
But I learned they spoke the NAKED truth
Spoken by NAKED artistes who speak
Speak the souls of the audience and tell words
So true that it can tear apart any lie

I learned this is a place where people share stories,
Sing their lives and speak the NAKED truth.

Untitled

2010-07-09T06:12:00.000-07:00

Like that dream you have
Too embarrassed to repeat
Where the room sees you
Wearing the Emperor’s new clothes
It’s the NAKED truth in its simplest form
The beauty of it all, these raw expressions
While standing before you stripped
Clothing can’t hide this exposure
As a newborn, I’m NAKED sharing
Emotions new and raw out for the crowd to see
My companions showcase their NAKED talent
My words, my voice, my music
Can’t bare any more of my soul
Then I plan to do this night

Let’s talk about the weather

2010-06-21T20:26:00.001-07:00

I remember when people made idle chatter about the weather
Passing time discussing the heat or the cold
Conversation veering off to talks of winter breaks or summer gardens
Topics taking turns to Christmas pageant or spring breaks
Outfits to wear and trips to take

Now when the weather comes up, it’s not longer idle chatter
The turns are no longer pleasant and fun
The weather now bring home reality of places in the world
Where it rains people as the sky cry
Where children are swallowed as the earth shifts
Where ashes cover grounds from volcano coughs

No we don’t make idle weather chats anymore
There’s not fun digression of conversation
We talk about global warming and cooling
Of winters that last eternity
Of cancerous summer sun that scars and kill
Of oily tides that kills the wild

No, the weather is no conversation for the faint of heart
Not when the weather seems to be taking turn
Causing destruction across the land
Now when you want to talk idle
And discuss something pleasant
Perhaps we can try talking about …
Heck is there anything idle to talk about anymore?

Book Cover

2010-06-19T04:01:00.001-07:00

I walked in discount store
And he started watching
Sneaking glances under
Lashes couldn’t keep his eyes off me
I strolled through the aisles
And he always seemed to me

Pretty young, blond little thing
Came in after me
His glance barely acknowledged
Cause it was on me
She was asked if assistance was needed
But the other worker standing there
But I’d been waiting 15 and got nothing but stares

So busy judging me they didn’t see
The pretty little thing walked out without paying
And as for me as I left sans purchase
I saw them heave a sigh of relief
Cause I and my brown skin had left without trouble

Trapped

2010-06-19T04:00:00.000-07:00

Get me outta here
This small town life
Job brought me here
But I need the lights
The big city crowds
The concerts and plays
Street vendors and performers
I dream of the days
Of strolling down the block
Music blasting down the street
Friends gathering on the corner
Or sitting on the steps of someone’s
Mama’s or grandmama’s house
Yeah the job pays
But when do I get to play
Doing things that I like
That do not cost an arm and leg
Get me outta here
Get me back to my lights
To babysitters at a blink
To hanging out at scrimmage games
To happy times and carefree life
I know I can’t go back
But hey, I can dream

Brillo Pad

2010-06-17T10:26:00.000-07:00

Brillo pad
Nappy roots
Dull and dry
They called my hair
Wig it up
Weave it up
Perm it up
They told me to
So I accepted and did what THEY said
Until I stumbled upon knowledge to care for my roots
Threw out the chemicals
Cut out the damage
Moisturize, moisture, moist
That’s all this kinky curly hair needed to survive
So while I don’t flow down my back
With synthetics or chemically treated tracks
I love my natural curls
Yup every curly, tangly strand

Senses

2010-06-17T10:23:00.000-07:00

Blindfold me so I can read your body
Like fingertips across Braille
Running my palms down your spine
Across your shoulders and down your lines
I’ll use my lips to translate what my eyes cannot see
Use my tongue to savor your essence
And my teeth to tantalize and tease
Vibrations from your moans tingle my ears
And roll me under your spell while
The scent of your desire, our desires burn my nose
And by the time the blinders comes off
I don’t need to see now deep I’ve fallen

Serial Killer

2009-10-22T12:43:00.000-07:00

Never seen this profile on
America's Most Wanted
A killer that's been around
For as long as time
It's like a disease past
Down the generations
A serial killer that roams free

The victim is always helpless
Never asks for it
Never sees it coming
Too small to fight
Too young to be able to cry
Never to be what could have been

Life snuffed out with a scalpel and a vacuum
A scraper, a suction
Or poison to the system
No funerals, no burials
Just discarded carcass
The baddest serial killer of all time
Abortion

Cold feet

2009-10-14T06:50:00.002-07:00

I’m scared to get up there
Having those people, artists, poets judge me
To get up there and speak my words and have people tell me
That I’m just a stumbler, a rhymer with no rhythm or reason
I want to step up and say my piece
But can’t even work up the courage to sign up my name
As each step up to the plate the feeling boils
Deep inside me I want these words to come out
But I’m not a poet and not an artist
I’m just someone with jibberish to say
And I don’t memorize heck I don’t even remember
The words I’m writing the minute they’re on paper
How can I recite and express and perform
Like those on that stage with passion and form
I can’t get up there this aint karaoke
Might as well tell me to strip and streak
And although no one knows me and I can
Step up and spit and leave
I’m scared to get up there

I don't get it

2009-10-14T06:50:00.001-07:00

I know it’s deep and everyone in the audience is so captivated
By the flow of words coming from you and the passion that you spew
But I don’t get it

Your words a complicated mix of poetry and prose and beauty and roses and
I swear you can see the room sigh and even hear the breaths cry
But I don’t get it

Fingers are snapping homage to you and giving you all the props you’re due
You have the audience wrapped around your pinky and they would buy anything you’re selling
But I don’t get it

I don’t get what’s so special about what you’re saying
You’re using analogies that just don’t apply to me
Your humor lacks foundation and your story lack a plot
If you weren’t already famous for something else that made sense
I wouldn’t be the only one sitting here not in a daze
So like the lone soul standing in the museum staring at a block of colors from a painter that didn’t make a penny until he died, I figure you must be writing in abstract and maybe when you’re no longer here, I’ll get it.
But for now, I just don’t get it.

Temp

2009-08-28T20:44:00.005-07:00

Tell me her name
The other in this game
Merely a matter of time
Before I get that famous line
“Just want to hang out”
But I know what its about
I’m just not who you choose
Just a temp now for your use

Weightloss

2009-08-28T20:44:00.003-07:00

I’ve been avoiding looking in the mirror
Watching the weight pile on my figure
Months and years of beating myself
Trying to resemble what my mind’s eye see
I’ve walked for miles to burn this off
Only for triggers to undo it all
I’ve starved myself from things I loved
To break the hold the cravings call
Now I’m ready to make the change
My makeover is complete and I lift up my head
I look in the mirror and love myself
The weight falls off and the pain dulled
Still have to be alert to me
Choose my steps so I don’t fall
But I know no matter what
I’m in there if I just look

I think he likes me

2009-08-28T20:44:00.001-07:00

I think he likes me
Might even start to love me
Cause he don't text me
Instead he likes to call me

Says he misses my voice
That some others call noise
Might be early to rejoice
But he's not like other boys

Don't even own a facebook
Nor gives myspace a look
Twitter isn't off his hook
And goodness gracious he can cook

So excited I am
Listening to my heart slam
Wondering if it's a sham
That's when the alarm decided to "wham"

Not that into me

2009-08-28T20:43:00.005-07:00

You’re just not that into me
And from what I see
This was not meant to be
I know had it been she
You would be flirty
Get on one knee
Ask her to marry
But as for me
I have to wait and see
Smiling patiently
Caught up in a tie of three
Waiting for reply after call 20
Why not say you’re not that into me

Spill

2009-08-28T20:43:00.003-07:00

I’ll take this knife out of my back
And stab you in the belly
Spilling your guts as you never did to me
Instead of slits on your wrist
Done across instead of along the veins
With you spilling slowly
Instead of in the gushes that I craved
To know you but only getting
Enough to stain my heart
And keep me hooked and hanging on
Oh yeah, you’ll spill
You’ll tell me what I ever did
To make you suffocate me with hope
Only to toss me back in the waves
When you know I can’t swim anymore
Just you wait, I’m coming

Birthday message

2009-08-28T20:43:00.001-07:00

On this day 3 decades ago
Heaven dropped an angel
Or the devil kicked you out
Full of mischief
You found your place
Doing your time
Till you go back home
Needless to say
You’ll leave your mark
On those that you meet
Things you touch
And acts you do
And though duty calls
In the day and the night
Take to heart on this day
Someone’s thinking of you

In memory of a stalker

2009-08-28T20:42:00.003-07:00

How sweet it was to be stalked by you
I miss the way I would see you sneaking
Around the Wal-Mart pretending not
To know that I would be in there shopping.
I miss the way I used to find hidden cameras
In the house because you wanted to know
What I was doing all through the day
I miss how you used to sit in your window
With the binoculars and watched my comings and goings
I miss how you kept track of my schedule
And made sure you were out of the house before I arrived
I miss how you sat in the car outside the restaurants
And watched me on a date cause you were worried
I would take off with some stranger
I miss how you took out my trash from the curb
So you could learn more about me
If you hadn’t violated the terms of the
Restraining order, I’d still be enjoying your
Attention from a distance of 50ft or more
How sweet it was to be stalked by you

Fair warning

2009-08-28T20:42:00.001-07:00

I’ve got a crush
On your man
You see you talk too much
About his hands
And that thing he does
With his tongue when he’s
Got you spread out and
I just want a taste of his
Mindset and a bit of that
Attention he always pays you
When you walk into a room

So I find myself thinking
Of how to sample some
Of his kisses when you
Leave the room and we
Are alone for a moment
When he catches my eyes
I think he feels as I do
And if you don’t quit sharing
So much about the tricks he’s
Got I might just do what comes naturally
Before curiosity kills my kitty cat

Sure we women bond
When we share the stories
Of our loves and lives
But watch out for when a
Girl hasn’t had any in a while
Don’t share too much cause that’s
A temptation some just can’t
Resist the envy that sets in
And hunger wins over common
Sense and friendship

Out of respect and the fact
That I’ve been sober thus far
I will hold back, but the next
Time we party too hard and the
Drinks run a bit too long
Don’t leave us alone or
We might be on Springer while
I tell you that I’m taking your man
Home with me.

Silent ringtone

2009-08-28T20:41:00.001-07:00

It’s been days since the phone rang
I start to wonder if it ever sang
During the times of the night when I sleep
But no missed calls and no message beep
Wonder if anyone knows to miss me
Why do I pay for this plan…maybe
I’m in a dead zone
And someone is calling my phone
But I can’t hear my silent ring tone

I find myself calling cell
When “She got her own” sang, my face fell
Cause now I know that my line works
And the others’ must have quirks
That they don’t know about so I’ll
Text something, make them smile
I do not postpone
Send out a message with a light tone
Thinking this time I’ll hear my silent ring tone

Not one reply
I just want to cry
Check the “texts out”
They were all sent with a doubt
Now with tears in my eyes
I might have to improvise
I slowly picked up my silent phone
Dialed 611 cause I felt so alone
Told of my problem with the silent ring tone

When the clock strikes 12

2009-08-28T20:40:00.002-07:00

This year has been with ups and downs
Fighting for a promotion, but You saw me through
Was used by a few, but You were there
Was lied to by dates who pretended to care
But through it all You guided my heart
You did not close me off
You helped me forgave
You let me know I’m not in this alone
So just like last year
When the clock strikes 12
While my loved ones are somewhere else
I’ll be in Your house
Praising You, thanking You, worshiping You
And asking that you continue to see me thru
Another New Year.

Self promises

2009-08-28T20:40:00.001-07:00

It’s that time of the year
Not that of Christmas cheer
Certainly not for family or gifts
It’s the time we contemplate what-ifs
Doesn’t matter of the hows
It’s that time to make our yearly vows

I promise to start …
To quit …
To make …
To take …
To do …
To save …
I promise to promise myself
And if I had a dollar
No a dime
A nickel
Better yet a penny for ever person
Who fails to fulfill these self promises
I could retired and help end world hunger

So as I finis my last drink
And stand on the brink
Of consciousness and oblivion
Struggling to remember this year’s mission
I promise not to vow
Then kneel and take my toilet bow

The way you...

2009-08-28T20:39:00.003-07:00

The way you walk
With confidence and presence
And absolute sureness that
Here is where you should be
And wherever you are is where it all is
That’s what draws me to you

The way you speak
With intelligence and humor
And wit that pulls in your audience
You captivate all those who
Are close enough to hear the whisper of your voice
That’s what pulls me to you

The way you laugh
With heart and emotions
And make others want to join in
So addicting to my ears
That I instantly want to be part of your joy
That’s what lures me to you

The way you kiss
So fully and deeply
And with your entire body
That surrender is the only option
You give and take breath away
That’s what attracts me to you

Uniform

2009-08-28T20:39:00.001-07:00

Shyt, I did it again
I had a relapse
I’ve been doing so
Good that I thought
I could come within
Paces of my addiction
And still remain sane
But then I reverted to
The idiot I become
Drooling for a taste
After a glimpse of you
In that camo
I don’t know if it’s you
Or if any man in blues
Will do but I do love
A solid man in uniform

Pull my hair

2009-08-28T20:36:00.004-07:00

Don’t you dare pull my hair
Yes it’s mine, was bought a pair
Passionate grabs and urgent yanks
Will far from leave me saying thanks
Pocahontas May to June
Styles that make you drool and swoon
Through these locks no fingers run
Surprising slaps there will be none
Braids and plaits sometimes ok
You’ll be safe just you obey
Wigs and weaves you just can’t tell
So don’t touch or bid farewell
Call it lies or call it fake
Pulling on is still a mistake
It’s so clear me, Mista
You’ve never had a sista
Unless you know tugs make her moan
A black woman’s hair is a forbidden zone.

Pull my hair

2009-08-28T20:36:00.003-07:00

Don’t you dare pull my hair
Yes it’s mine, was bought a pair
Passionate grabs and urgent yanks
Will far from leave me saying thanks
Pocahontas May to June
Styles that make you drool and swoon
Through these locks no fingers run
Surprising slaps there will be none
Braids and plaits sometimes ok
You’ll be safe just you obey
Wigs and weaves you just can’t tell
So don’t touch or bid farewell
Call it lies or call it fake
Pulling on is still a mistake
It’s so clear me, Mr
You’ve never had a sister
Unless you know tugs make her moan
A black woman’s hair is a forbidden zone.

Dear Heart

2009-08-28T20:36:00.001-07:00

Dear Heart
We need to talk
You’re way too rash
You never listen to me
Impulsive with your action
I never get a word in.
Only when things go awry
Do you consult with me.
Well, you know what?
I’m tired of you ignoring me
And not respecting my input
Until you need to talk your way
Out of a sticky situation
If I could, I’d leave you
But apparently just like a woman
I can’t live with you or without
Frustratedly,
Your mind

In love with the idea

2009-08-28T20:35:00.002-07:00

I’m in love with the idea of you as you would be
If I were the me you wanted me to be
I’m in love with the thought of what we could do
If my thoughts could encompass all the possibilities of us
I’m in love with the memories that we share
If memories could be merged and our recollection identical
I’m in love with the potential of our love
If potential was actual and not dependent on will
I’m in love with idea of happily every after
If the time never ends and neither do we
I’m in love with being in love with you

Inner Struggle

2009-08-28T20:35:00.001-07:00

She said she had to stop herself from stopping herself
From returning to pain that she locked away
Crying the tears to help cleanse her soul
And as I listened to the words
I thought of my tears
So far buried that I don’t remember the feel
Of wetness on my cheeks that are not from shower waters
Or from droplets of rain
She said she had to face the demons of her past
And forgive herself for the mistakes she made
In letting him back time and time again
The scars had faded and forgave him she had
But in the process she locked herself away
A slip of the tongue from a friend
Made her reevaluate her link to herself
Standing next the heat of her anger and pain
The ice melted away and her feelings emerged
She had to stop herself from stopping herself from letting it all out
She’s healing now.

Text Message Breakup

2009-08-28T20:34:00.000-07:00

OMG I’m ROTFLMAO
@ U & dat U think we can be FWB
When U can’t even call
ICU AAF, but BTDT and got a tee
You seriously CMU
Do U think I have no sense
I’m tired of giving clues
Do U ever talk? U no string words?
And not just acronyms?
Don’t U think I miss UR voice
Or rather the inflections or
Clues that text just don’t show
WTF? If U want to just txt
Don’t go out, don’t kiss, don’t date
If IM is the only form of talk 4U
GFY and get a friggin pen pal

Big Tip

2009-08-28T20:33:00.002-07:00

Comb, snip, fluff and all
Laugh, giggle at his jokes as well
Dress for the occasion on his appointment days
Knowing beyond flirtation is how it really pays
Family at home makes him safe in the game
Worries of the wifey will ensure he’s tame
He wants me I know this
His gaze I can’t miss
With a Freudian slip
Or an intimate trip
I’ll be sure to get a bigger tip.

Vortex

2009-08-28T20:33:00.001-07:00

I avoid the eyes
The windows to the soul
Fear of being sucked in
Cause the heart can’t resist
I forget to breathe
My words take a leave
Of absence that I can’t retrieve
The world disappears
My ears no longer hear
The world around us
I’m lost in this vortex
That your eyes sucks me into
So until I’m sure
That your heart can choose
Me first and leave the rest
I’ll look off to the side
Quick glances, never lingering
And avoid the eyes

Response to Webgirl: her side of the story

2009-08-28T20:32:00.000-07:00

She didn't mean for him to land in jail
She just was curious of how it would feel
Her friends all did the deed with boys
And some even said that they tried toys
But in her mind she had a dream
An older man to boost her esteem
And experienced man would know what to do
She planned for it knowing it was taboo
She did a page claiming the age of eighteen
Knowing very well she was only fifteen
Visited the pages of guys much older
When they responded she got much bolder
Free to do what she liked on her own phone
She’d talk so dirty it caused them to moan
She finally met one from out of state
Before long falling in love and couldn’t wait
Few times she wanted to tell him her age
But was scared he would turn away in a rage
Feigning sick to stay home that day
When all along she was planning to play
Dressing a part 10 years advanced
High heels and string with her boobs enhanced
He never had a chance
When he entered and took a glance
Her very first lover
Would be out before daddy could discover
From chatting and reading she knew quite a bit
Keeping him distracted for fear he would quit
It all was incredible she lost track of time
Then daddy came home, the lover nabbed for a crime
As the cops led him out
She stood there in a pout
Her life still ahead
While her lover’s was dead
One would hope she had learned something
But when the verdict was read she was searching for her next fling

Belly dance

2009-08-28T20:31:00.002-07:00

Hip thrust
Figure 8s
Isolations
Shimmies
Hip drop kick
My passion
My addiction
On stage
Swaying and twisting
Undulating and snaking my moves
There’s nothing
No one there
Watching me
Just you
As I belly dance

Disclaimer: I am not a stalker

2009-08-28T20:31:00.001-07:00

Knowing your schedule every moment of a day does not make me a stalker
It just means you’re really predictable and I happen to go to the same places you do
Knowing things about your background without you telling me does not make me a stalker
It just means that your life is an open book for anyone with a people finder account
Taking pictures of you in random setting does not make me a stalker
It just means that you fall in my camera’s line of site when I’m doing photography
Owning pieces of your old clothing does not make me a stalker
It just means that one man’s trash and another’s treasure.
Showing up to your parent’s house for a visit does not make me a stalker
It just means your sister and I are taking the same classes
Now I can’t explain the whole bugging your house thing
Nor can I explain the why I was on your second floor balcony during your date
I can’t explain the Photoshop constructed pictures of you and me
And certainly not the tapping of your phones
But I can tell you that I’m not a stalker. It was all just coincidences.
Now if you promise not to scream I’ll remove the gag.

Longing

2009-08-28T20:29:00.000-07:00

Will she ever be someone’s wife?
Sharing a part of another’s life
Will she ever be a body’s mother?
Meaning the most to that person than any other
In her lifetime she’s been a sister
And very surely a loving daughter
Some have even called her friend
With promises to be there till the end
But on the nights when she’s alone
With no one there to call here own
She wonders, will she ever be…

Stepford Employees

2009-08-28T20:28:00.002-07:00

You all look alike
No not the Blacks or Whites
Nor the Asians or Hispanics alike
It’s you all corporate types
In your khakis and your shirts
Whites and blues
Grays and pales
Slacks and ties
Polos on casual Fridays
Stepford employees to a tee
You all look alike
Gender fades
Individuality a curse
Conformity the key to elevation
5PM my only motivation
When I can let down my hair
Lose the blazer and suits
Rush for my freedom
To be me until 9AM

But you the dude

2009-08-28T20:28:00.001-07:00

Why you want me dancing on you
Last I check, I thought it was s’pose to be the dude
You got the dickey
And I can’t make a sticky
So why when we dancing
I find you turning with you booty in my oochie
Like I’m supposed to be humping on you

What you waiting waiting to feel
Maybe you should dance with him for real
Cause when I’m feeling a song
And I’m jamming or grinding to the beat
I don’t want you face down booty back in my lap waiting for a tap
Sorry baby boy you cute, but I’m not like that

What am I supposed to do
Bend forward or bend back too
I came on the dance floor thinking I’d cut a little rug
Maybe two-step or sway with some dude at my back
But instead I have a man with an incessant need
To dance with his back to me

Sorry pal, but I didn’t bring a dong today
Nope I can’t give your booty any play
I just want someone who has the rhythm
To keep up with me on the dance floor
To hug me and squeeze me
But most importantly dance with me face to face.

Artificial Conception

2008-10-17T14:58:00.000-07:00

For years I dreamt of your conception
Choosing at last to do it on my own
Then like a hopeful mother to be
Who takes the route of invetero over
The traditional... I
Chose every feature from the catalog I was given
I made sure you got the best so your chances were immense
For months I dreamt of how it would be
As I prepared for you and got your accessories
And all of the toys
Some custom made just for you
I read books galore to learn what to do
I priced furniture and set up you very own room
For days I waited anxiously for your arrival
Knowing that things might not run smoothly but that didn’t matter
I set up the space
Call up friends as back up
Waking up late at night prowling my home
Checking your room to ensure it was ready for your arrival
For hours I slaved away
The pains not registering
The result my only focus
Nearly broke down in tears a time or two
When it seemed like maybe my dream might not come true
I hoped that it would all be over soon and there you’d be
Ready for me to feed you and develop you into something supreme
Now you’re here and we’re almost inseparable
You’re my baby, my creation, my legacy so to speak
I dreamt you, I planned you, I made you unique
I can never teach you too much
You absorb all I can give and
Already your memory is far superior to mine
Thank goodness I
Spent so much money for that larger hard drive
Gosh, I love my computer

Phew!

2008-09-25T05:09:00.000-07:00

Tell me how you love me
And how you think I’m sexy
Touch yourself when you see me
Tell me how you love my body
Stay warm and get out of the cold with me
I just want to hear you say it
Want to hold you, want to feel your touch
How do I breathe
Feels so different being here
Was used to being next to you
There’s no one to talk to
Starting over is so hard
I just had a wakeup call
Your love brought me to the light
Your heart’s where I lay my head
I ain’t trying to get in your jeans
Want to learn your ups and down
Your insecurities
I want to make you feel beautiful
Beautiful as poetry or look at me saying nothing at all
I want you to feel you are my focus
Don’t I tempt you
Slow and sexy maybe you should take control
What’s this game I want to play
You can’t get away
I only want to be with you
I can change your life
We’re going to do something tonight
Head rush from your touch
Want to but I can’t help it
I need it when I want it
You’ve become my addiction
Strung out on you
I’ve heard every line
When I’m next to you
I get the feeling that I’m willing to stay next to you
Show me how bad do you want and need it
You’re not listening
Step back make you work for it cause I don’t want to rush
I call on you for pleasure
I need a little bit more so do it to me
You’d do anything if I let you inside me
You go crazy when you see me
What are you looking for
It’s right on page 52
You know exactly what to do with this body of mine
When I’m with you I lose myself
I can’t wait to do things with you
Glass of wine candle light music made of quiet time
I’m feeling mellow
Honey my sweetie pie hear to lay me out
I’m wishing you were hereI’m in a sexy mood and only you can fit my needs
I’ll take care of it until you come to me
I get sensitive
You kisses have a poetry that makes me shaking in the knees
When you join in on the action I can hardly breathe
I want to touch you too
Please share my oooh
Tell me where to touch you
Wait don’t move I want to taste you too
How you touch kiss stroke it my love the way that you do
Don’t look now
Take of my shirt, undo the buttons
If I’ve got to beg for it on my knees and crawl
We’re going to be sexing all night

Scorned

2008-09-25T05:05:00.000-07:00

Icy fingers of the wind crawls along her skin
Sitting there so calmly a part of the scenery
She longs to be in there with him
Content to perch and gaze within
Once upon a time it was her kissing him
Holding hands and laughing with him
Then along came the dream that he couldn’t resist
The barely legal teeny bopper for whom she was dismissed
Seventeen years craving a child
Eyes shimmering unshed, but yet she smiled
Just the thought and time as she sits and dwells
Anger, anger, and fury inside her swells
There’s no choice or question of what must be done
Plans now in motions actions never to be undone
She relishes the adrenaline rushing through her veins
Her hold on sanity/reality she hardly maintains
Half frozen not dead
Completely consumed in a haze of red
She stands aside watching the crazy lady take a shot
No self-awareness or fear of getting caught
No longer there, just a ghost of the former
Two silent perfect shots to the floozy and the charmer
No prints at all, no weapons there
Just a shattered window and icy despair
With no remembrance and a strong alibi
Life resumes for the scorned on a brand new high

Thank God for you, Mama

2008-09-25T05:02:00.000-07:00

Fifteen Hundred miles away
I think about you everyday.
All the way across the world
Caught up in this country’s whirl
I know that I can count on you,
To keep me in your prayers.

From Monrovia to Keneta to Kamatahun to Koindu to Freetown to Chicago to St. Paul to where we each now reside, Mama, we know that we’re only a phone call or email away.

From married mother to single motherhood, you’ve been there by our sides. We wish we could be there today to cheer you on as you receive your award.

But since we cannot be there in the flesh
Your many other children will represent.

We don’t know how we managed to be so lucky to draw you when God dealt out the mother cards.

So we thank God for you, Mama.
From Kpehe and Jahma

2 Messages in One: Every other line or together

2008-09-25T04:58:00.000-07:00

Your mug feels right up on a display
covered up in a disguise, on my favorite holiday
My dearest, my beloved, you've filched my heart,
my money and my ride, you light-fingered tart!
You are necessary to me please, for all eternity
that you somehow stop showing your face in my community
My love for you will last forever and never end
pending the arrival of this note that I’m about to send
You're my life's fortune set apart for me
by some atrocious, obnoxious being
I yearn for you equally night and day
to gather your luggage because you can’t stay!
My affections for you did never diminish,
the abhorrence, the malevolence, they didn’t just vanish.
Your flawless figure, smile and saunter
paled in comparison to you constant chatter
In issues of the mind and heart,
I can’t help but wonder
that if it’s about time I got that restraining order
I experienced the earth shift below my feet
Perhaps you ought not to have so much to eat
Sweetheart I'd carry you wherever
provided that I can desert you there

Once Upon A Time

2008-09-25T04:57:00.001-07:00

There were you and I
I did the work and you let our relationship slide
I no longer want you for you hurt me so bad.
I know this is wrong and I should just end it, but I’ll do it my way
I wasted two years of my life to broken promises and false words of love
I want you to suffer like I did, but I don’t want any mess left behind
I won’t talk bullets cause I don’t know how to use a gun
I won’t try knives, don’t want a mess on my rug
I don’t want hire, someone else would just spill the beans
I can’t just file you missing, it might point back to me
I can’t use a pillow you might wake up and fight
I can’t make it falling you’re too darn elegant
I can’t mess with the brakes cause I might drive the car
I can’t do it in the house, you’re too heavy for me alone
I can’t say heart attack you’re too healthy for that, but
I can treat you to a nice final meal to a restaurant of your choice
I can make a trip to the restroom, timed just right
I can bump into our waiter before the food arrive
I can slip yours something you never would taste
I can make sure it’s some that can be peed away
I can rush you to the hospital as you take your last breaths
I can make it seem like I fear to lose you to death
I can cry at your funeral knowing I ended you.
I can finally be happy for now
There is just me.

Not Your Fault

2008-09-25T04:56:00.001-07:00

It’s okay, it’s not your fault
If you don’t tell it’ll never halt.

I was there, where you are, before
Hurt at the hands of my favorite mentor.

It’s usually someone close, someone you all trust
You need to tell cause so others know of his lust.

It won’t be easy, he will cuss and will threaten
That monster will crumble when no other choice is given

Beware of the huggers, and squeezers and kissers
They even hide easier when all know they are fathers

He says that there’ll be hell to pay
If you slip and you tell that that would be the day

Don’t worry child it’s just a test,
To see if you fall in like the rest.

The trick is not to show him any fear
But stand up tall and say you won’t adhere.

Tell mom or dad or someone older
Cause after every little touch he will get bolder.

Don’t let it start, thinking the thoughts you can bury
Trust me, nothing’s worst then carrying with you the memory

I Love You Zealously

2008-09-25T04:54:00.001-07:00

I love the way you brush your hair
I take the strands off the comb and brush.
I love the way your smile lights up my world
I have your missing toothbrush in my purse.
I love the way you dress yourself
I have a few of your shirts under my pillow.
I love the way you dance at the clubs
I let the other women enjoy the pleasure of you.
I love the way you like to kiss.
I saw you do it while making love.
I love the way you look when you sleep
I installed a camera by your bed.
I love the sound of your voice
I call you 10 times a day just to hear it on the machine.
I love the new car you just bought
I find it much easier to follow.
I love way you try to make me jealous
I’m sorry your last date drove off a cliff.
I love the way you have my name close to you
I wasn’t easy to tattoo on your arm that night.
I love your taste in breakfast food
I add something to your plate everyday.
I love that you care about what I do
I saw the cops leaving that you sent to check up on me.
I can’t get you off my mind and very soon
I’ll have you permanently in my home.
I love you zealously that’s why
I can’t, until death, stop watching you.

Grown Up Love

2008-09-25T04:51:00.002-07:00

I’m the man, ain’t a kid no more
I’ve got grown women at my door
She told me I could be her special man
From these words our affair began
I tried telling ma she’s the woman of my dreams
Mama said, boy it’s not always like it seems
Mama asked me who was this mystery woman
I said, Ma, she’s no mystery, she’s Ms Johnson
You know the math teacher for my freshman year
“What is she stupid, there goes her career!”
But, Ma I do love her and I’m not a child
“Dumbass you a kid and you’re being defiled”
My friends think it’s awesome
And I’m not a victim
I love her, she loves me
She’s also having my baby
“I did not raise you to the age of fourteen
To hear that you’re in love with a sicko like Christine.”
Calm down, Ma let me tell you what makes me so sure
I’ll prove to you like she said, that I’m much more mature
“Don’t give me that
How did this start”?
It started all of a sudden like something from a fiction,
But the first day it happened was during detention.
She said choose detention or to get dismissed
The next thing I knew I was there being kissed.
She told me to kiss back it would be our secret
I was scared and I was shaking and thought I would vomit
But she reassured me and called me a trooper
And that’s when I knew she was more than my teacher.
She stripped me and licked me and loved me that day
“Boy please stop, and don’t tell me no more, Dante.”
Ma, I trust that you love me and won’t tell the police
Cause I know if they catch her, she’ll never see release.
This never has to be told you know it doesn’t
Think of how the story will cause you total embarrassment
“Dante, you’re my child and I know what’s best,
I’ll make a decision after the bloodtest”
Ma it’s now 6 months and my child is borne
If they take my Ms. Johnson, I will be torn.
Why can’t you understand?
That this was not planned
Know this, Ma, together she and I will not fail
Cause I’ll be here waiting when she gets back form jail.

Dear Amateur

2008-09-25T04:51:00.001-07:00

Dear Amateur,
I’ve said that I don’t want a lying brotha, but if you’re going to lie at least try to do it better. It’s okay if you stay out late, however, to appease my suspicions answer the phone even when you’re on a date. From work to home only takes nine miles, so I know you weren’t at the office all day messing with files. You didn’t have a group meeting, the group was over here eating. The car didn’t run out of gas, I fill the tank up jackass. She wasn’t calling about work, you left your shirt there you jerk. When I go on travel, you barely wait to be unfaithful. I call you at home in the middle of the day, and you want me to call back before I approach the driveway. You complicate all your lies, if it was a contest you wouldn’t be getting a prize.

Just because you use a different name on your phone, you think you’re safe and your cover can’t get blown. Take it from me I teach Lying 101, I can come up with lies faster just ask me a question. Oh your boys don’t lie either, the loving I give them to tell me goes much further. Oops I guess I let it out, but did you think I’d sit home alone and pout? Incase you still don’t know what I’m trying to say, I want for us to go our separate way. It was fun while it lasted, but I’ve got a new sucker that I just landed.

Sincerely,
Professional

Chocolate

2008-09-25T04:48:00.000-07:00

6 foot plus with baby soft hair
My heart beat so fast it almost give me a scare
Thick brows cover eyes that are so slightly slanted
The depth of brown I glimpsed inside is why I’m now tempted
I never thought that I would be a sucker for chocolate.
Strong jaw, prominent nose, full lips, strong chin
Believe me everything I’m thinking have got to be sin
Your shoulders, like boulders could hold up the world
I felt I was in heaven and waited as my toes uncurled.
Your shirt cannot hide the washboard you conceal
It only helps to enhance the emotions I feel.

Counting

2008-09-25T04:46:00.000-07:00

6 days since we parted
I sat by the phone
Waiting to hear you voice so I wouldn’t feel alone.

144 hours since we spoke
I gave you all 4 of my numbers
And even the one for one of my neighbors.

8460 minutes ago, you sweet-talked me all through the night
I absorbed your whispered promises to call
While I’ve been waiting I’ve wanted to bawl.

518400 since you kissed me good night
A wrong number call came
And this man’s voice set me aflame.

Ring, Ring there goes the phone
I’ve been tired waiting
I’m with the new man I’m dating
To engrossed to even think of getting the phone

Ring, Ring aren’t you going to give up
I’m way too distracted
When he’s got my leg parted
I do believe it will no longer be possible to hookup.

Ring, Ring although he’s traveled elsewhere
And I’ve wonder what would have happened
If my crush on you had not deaden
Instead of answering your call, I’m much rather wash my hair.

An (Ex)Stalker’s Apology

2008-09-25T04:43:00.001-07:00

Dear Ex,
I’m done with all the treatment now
I want you to know it’s alright to not love me now
It’s okay the voices they don’t come no more
It’s just the one telling me to love you no more
Incredibly, I don’t hold you accountable
In fact, I think you were quite commendable
Intentionally, I would always follow you
Instead, I now just pray for you
If by chance we do happen to meet anew
I’ll respect your space knowing what I put you through

Sincerely,
Me

P.S.
I’ll always be your Boo you know.

Could It

2008-09-25T04:41:00.000-07:00

Could this be love
This tingling in my spine
The fluttering in my belly
The urge to smile wide

Could this be joy
This need to tell the world
Everything is a-okay
No need for sun cause I’m lighted up from inside

Could you be the one
That’s I’ve been waiting for all this time
That knows me better than I do
That shares my sorrows and joy

Could you be the lilt in my voice when I say “hi”
The bounce in my step when I walk down the hall
The reason every morning finds me with a smile
The end to loneliness as I’ve known life to be

Yes I think so
I believe I’ve found the silver lining in my cloud
The pot of gold at the rainbow’s end
The sun of my tomorrows and,
The home for my heart

Breaking Point

2008-09-25T04:40:00.000-07:00

My rope’s about to snap
And I hope one end doesn’t lash you in the eyes
I’ve been dancing to your tune walking carefully with the beam
The weights you’ve placed on me these recent times eventually took its toll
You say I’m pretending
At least I face up to reality
I don’t live with a wall so high that I can’t see past my height
I push others away and just tolerate
People can sense when they’re not really wanted
When they’re on the outskirts of your realm of friends
We’re all great pretenders
But somewhere is always the truth
For how can you know pretend from true
If the person never told you the truth before

Ask Me

2008-09-25T04:39:00.000-07:00

Do you know my story
Have you asked my side
Are do you simply judge me
On what you feel inside

Do you want to know me
Have you ever taken the time
Try not to just scold me
Subtly accusing me of a crime

Can I share my secrets
Will you tell your true friends
Should stay hiding in closets
Tell if that would make amends

What can I do to please you
Something I haven’t yet tried
Can’t showing that I love you
Evoke your compassionate side

I’m done jumping through hoops
I’m done playing games
I’m not the only one who dupes
So lash out and cast your blames

To My Guardian

2008-09-25T04:27:00.000-07:00

My heart is yours if you're willing to mind it
I'll take care of yours if you're willing to spare it
My mind's consumed with images of our future
Of how I can see you as a permanent fixture
I know physically, we'll be great together
'Cause our minds, hearts and souls sync with one another
I don't mean to try your patience at all
I just don't want us to lose focus, crash and fall
Sometimes I find it hard to believe
That you love me and don't plan to leave
You're beautiful inside and out
This wait to meet you almost has me worn-out
I imagine the day Gazing into your eyes I'll say
That there's no way
That from you I could stray
I believe that God brought us as one
And with His help and guidance we shall one day be one.

Mon coeur, mon amour.
Je t'aime beaucoup.
Je ne comprends pas toute la ceci.
Mais je voudrais que tu sachiez que mon coeur est tu.

I Cried

2008-09-25T04:10:00.001-07:00

I cried last night
Closed my eyes
Quiet sobs
Wished with all my might
Passing thoughts
Wasted dreams
Delayed 20-20 hindsight
Unknown triggers
Imagined terrors
Moon up high, far from daylight
Broken promises
Lonely existence
Hoping often for a knight
To save me
To love me
To save my heart form frostbite
Broken down
Prayed up highDarkness gone, remainder light.

Traveler Blues

2008-09-25T04:08:00.000-07:00

On the road
I own a home
But am homeless
Forgot one shoe
I'm listless
Got no life
Wardrobe reduced to a suitcase
Have no friends
They're left behind
At home
With my things
With my stuff
With my life
Security checkpoint
My new home
Take out the computers
Take off you shoes
Your belt
Heck get naked
But still bring a pocket knife on the plane
What are they looking for
I digress
I tried an ad
To make some pals
Confusion cause disassociation
Friends of old have lives anew
Don't include me
Hampton Inn
Where I stay
Window shades drawn
Typing away
Homework and internet
That's my life

Letter to Mr. Potential

2008-09-14T18:12:00.001-07:00

Dear Potential
I saw you at the movies/club/theater, etc
I was there with other females: my girlfriends, sisters, etc
I felt you looking my way and turned
I thought we had a connection, but the story got familiar only too soon.

I dont want to be your buddy, pal, sidekick, etc
Im applying for the position of your lover
I would be the perfect person to trust and talk to
I should be your champion and have your back
I await my chance to admire you from near and far
I want to be your friend

I dont want to be your sister and dont need another brother
Im not a stepping stone to one of my girls
Im not a messenger and you dont need to talk me up if you want her
I dont only want to be called when youre bored
I wont cook for you to take over and share with someone else
Im not your banker or bank account
I want to be your confidant.

I dont want a with-benefit type of friendship
I fail to see anything beneficiary for me in that relationship
I hurt when you come and go without warning
I was involve emotionally from the moment our eyes connected
I only express physically what I feel on all other levels combined
I want to be your only lover

Dont feel the need to befriend me if youre not interested in me.
Dont feel the need to explain yourself to me
Dont waste my time with niceties.
Dont say what you think I want to hear.
Dont expect me to cry about this either. Youre not my first buddy. I will go on.
Sincerely,
Missed Possibility

Love Online

2008-09-14T18:10:00.000-07:00

I found love again online
The perfect mate who's cyberly all mine
But I don't want to meet you in sight
Why would I want to ruin something's that's just right
We have the perfect virtual fantasy dates and all
Sometimes makes me actually want to give you a call
We met a on a beautiful highspeed day at my place
On a popular site for everyone called Myspace
Through messages and comments we connected
And then got bold went to IM and chatted
Been like weeks, and you think you've seen my picture
But putting myself out like that is not my nature
I've triped hard and haven't even felt like cheating
There's been other messages I've been ignoring
I can't help it, you're my one and only
Yeah, for now, until reality gets lonely.

Stalker Tendencies?

2008-09-14T18:06:00.000-07:00

She's a woman
An independent woman
An "I don't need a man to make me feel complete" sort of woman
She's well traveled and well spoken
She's secure in herself and knows her worth
She can get any man SHE chooses
She doesn't want a man she has to keep tabs on
She's not a stalker, but...

She's got some tendencies
Um...some say stalker tendencies
Really she does it for his own good, like...

Well if he doesn't answer the phone after 3 calls, 4 texts and 2 emails
She drives pass his house (if the car is there she looks for signs of life)
She drives by the job (he might be working late and service sucks there)
She drives pass his best friend's house (you know how guys don't want to seem whipped)
She calls aroundShe parks outside... (can you blame this poor woman?
She's worried he might be hurt.)

How can this be stalking?
Wouldn't you want to know your loved one is safe
She loves to spend time with him, like...

They planned a home date to watch some movies
Something important came up (said his mother was sick)
She drives pass his mother's but his car isn't there (totally out of concern)
She drives by his house (ha, seems to be life there)
She goes back home and calls, no answer (what if something's really wrong)
She dials 911 from the payphone and reports an emergency
She parks outside...(Who would have guessed the cops would barge in on a movie date)

Stalking tendencies? No! Total concern for him.
Didn't she give him chances?
She told him that minor issues does not a relationship break, like...

He told her she was sufficating him (She didn't know he fell asleep under her pillow.)
He told her he didn't want to see her any more (she made sure he was asleep when she entered)
He told her to give him back his keys (she made a copy and give it back)
He told her he had another girl (what does she have to do with them)
He told her he's been cheating (it's okay, you'll get it out of your system)
He got a restraining order
She parks outside...(within order limits)
(Gosh who would have thunk this relationship thing would be so complicated)

Don't be mad at me

2008-09-14T18:05:00.001-07:00

Don't be mad at me
I don't mean to be me
I'm a pleaser, make believer, true pretender, you see
Trying to fit in, where I get in even when it's falsely
My heart is heavy
I feel dirty
The mirror's hanging not in pieces
But my reflection's of a shattered image
You don't like me
You just use me
Knowing I do what you tell me
If there's a chance that you could love me
There's a flaw in a pleaser's mindset
No one can please everyone
Giving pieces of yourself
Just to be tolerated
Will lead to feelings of prostitution
But bet the money last longer than the words they tell you
Dear Lord,
I pray you help me to find me
Forgive me for what I have and haven't done
Don't want to take no more wrong turns
Don't want to lose my friends
Don't want to be so many persons
Just want it all to end.

Say my name

2008-09-14T18:03:00.000-07:00

He called me by her name today again
He did it asleep and didn't see my pain
Looked me in the eyes, asked me to join him for life
I said yes not knowing I was a substitute wife
In the thrios of passion, says I'm the only one
But never looks me in the eyes once the deed is done
I turn to my side, don't cry, but do pray
That true love for me will somehow come someday

He called me her name when we dressed to go out
Thought I didn't hear the slip cause his voice had dropped out
Never talks about her when coherent and sane
Only when unconscious, no control over his brain
He goes through the motions of the perfect mate
Kisses and hugs, even the occasional date
His friends double take said we could have been twins
That's when I realized the extend of his sins

He called me her name, my heart just died
It finally sunk in deep how much he lied
The promises, the vows meant nothing at all
For he would leave instantly if only she could call
I thought I could do this since she's been long gone
But her spirit is present and my love is all gone
Was scared of the future of being lonely
But now I need someone to love and see me.

Cliché Talk: My Crush

2008-09-14T18:00:00.000-07:00

Oh Gosh, you must be as dense as a London fog
So I promise not to beat around the bush
For many times, I've been there, done that
So I'm letting you know that all bets are off
I don't want just any port in a storm
Please clue me in to your feelings
You can think I'm a glutton for punishment
But for once, I want my place in the sun
Do you feel me?
I know they say actions speak louder than words
But I'll be fine if we can just start with you dropping me a line
Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies
I don't always be a bridesmaid and never a the bride
All in due time I know you'll brush off the chip on your shoulder
I'm tired holding my breath so I thought you should know that
This is your wake-up call
I'm not looking for a one-night stand
Even if I don't kiss and tell
I have nothing up my sleeves
You have that certain je ne sais quoi
My love is blind and you are the object of my desire
I want to be your everything, your wet dream
Maybe one day we can join the mile high club
So just tell me now if it's your place or mine?

Just love me

2008-09-14T17:57:00.000-07:00

You don't have to be …
You don't have to drive a …
You don't have to make …
You don't have to wear …
You just must love me

If you loved me you would be the perfect man
You would grow with me
You would compromise with me
You would believe in me
You would laugh with, cry with, and engage me
If you loved me you would respect me

I love you isn't just words to me
It's in the way that you talk
It's in the way that you treat me
It's in the way you respect our relationship
It's in the way that you remember me
I love you is your action more than anything to me

Loving me is the only criteria I seek
Material things can come and go
Physical beauty can fade with growth
Family and friends can support or test
Children grow up and leave the nest
Loving me and me loving you is all we need
It's not an easy feat you see
For obstacles and problems lie along the way
Though equally yoked we must be
Although it's the man's calling to lead
I hope you just start by loving me.

Independence Defined

2008-09-14T17:56:00.000-07:00

I can stand on my own two feet
I make my own money
I own my own thing
I am not conceited
I am INDEPENDENT
Check out what that means to me

I am independent
No, it doesn't mean I
Don't need you. Because
Everyday that you're not in my life is a
Piercing pain in my heart.
Every woman needs to be loved and held and
Never has having money kept you company.
Despite what you've heard
Even the most self-sufficient woman
Needs a shoulder to cry on, a man to lead her and
Take charge, take care and Touch her.

I can be your everything
But you must look beneath this shield I've had to carry
And see the dependent woman I can be

Trading-In

2008-09-14T17:55:00.000-07:00

It's so hard to say goodbye
But like the song, I must comply
You brought pleasure I can't deny
Since we first got together last July
But it's that time, the reverse of 'hi.'

At times you warm me, but can be so cold
There's never enough of you to hold
Although you never yell or ever scold
Sorry baby, you're just too old
So I just ordered a brand new mold.

It's not just cause your batteries expired
Your motors no longer work as wired
No longer do you hit the speeds required
Since I can't count on you, sorry you're fired
I'm trading you in for the new BOB I acquired.

Can I

2008-09-14T17:51:00.000-07:00

Can I have you for breakfast?
Sausage with my pancakes
Or banana for my cereal

Can I have you for lunch?
Salami for my sandwich
Cucumber for salad

Can I have you for a snack?
Lollipop is my favorite
Popsicle can sometimes do the trick

Can I have you for dinner?
A nice thick juicy bratwurst with rice
Or a steamy mouth-watering carrot

Can I have you for dessert?
A hard dark chocolate candy bar
Or even a long firm biscotti cookie

I will give you some of my cherries
If you let me taste your pickle
You may have a bite of melon
If I can nibble on your almonds
It's a meal that must be shared
A lick here and sip there
You sample mine, I try yours
Can I have through the night

Denial

2008-09-14T17:49:00.000-07:00

I lied
When I told I could get over you
I spied
When your car would go cruising down my block
I died
When they told me you chose her over me
I cried
When I saw your wedding announcements come
I tried
When my friends told me to move on
I denied
When you told me I would soon replace you
I replied
When I thought thatâ€™s what you wanted to hear
Now what I spied led to why I denied and replied.
If I hadnâ€™t cried, lied and felt like Iâ€™d died inside.
I would have tried a little harder might have been your bride

Break up

2008-09-14T17:47:00.000-07:00

It’s not you, it’s me
Bump that, it’s not me it’s him
You know, the one before you and he before him
Made those promises when all along there was a hidden agenda
The one that couldn’t take a minute to answer my phone calls
The one that lied and cheated and always had different numbers
So sorry if I break your heart this time
I’ve just got nothing in me
I could serve you platitudes
But I have much respect for you
I like knowing that I’m missed, but for how long
How long until you change
Make excuses and ignore me
Give me lines that I intake just feel less of a fool
How long until you decide that there are plenty of fish
To fill your greediness for two courses or more
With all the things out there to get
Forgive me if I try and protect myself
My body, my heart, my soul, my mind, my freedom
Because if I have go through another like he
I just might end up in jail

Wedding Vow

2008-09-12T08:43:00.000-07:00

Don’t want to be your convenient girl
Don’t want to be your write 300 texts all day long instead of answer the phone when I call kind of girl
Don’t want to be your don’t call until Thursday night to ask for a Friday date kind of girl
Don’t want to be your text you once a week just to make sure you think I’m still interested kind of girl

Don’t want to be your she’s just my friend to others while you call me for benefits later kind of girl
Don’t want to be 2am booty call on the way from the club when you couldn’t get none kind of girl
Don’t want to be your freak in the sheets so that mean you can’t marry me kind of girl
Don’t want to be your pull out the toy and finish up cause you were too selfish to make sure I got mine kind of girl
Don’t want to be your fake it so we can get it over with kind of girl

Don’t want to be your spring fever, summer lover, fall over, disappear for the winter before she gets to attached and want Christmas present or Valentines kind of girl
Don’t want to be your why should we define things we can just kick and see where things goes kind of girl
Don’t want to be your stay in the relationship for 3 years and still ain’t met your kids or family kind of girl
Don’t want to be your if I was in the market for a wife I might consider you kind of girl
Don’t want to be your 3rd baby mama with no hope of support kind of girl

Don’t want to be your independent so that means I pay for the date kind of girl
Don’t want to be your lets chill at your house or my house so we can spend some time alone when you’re really not trying to take me out on a real date kind of girl
Don’t want to be your there to listen to your problems but when I need you, you’re never around kind of girl
Don’t want to be your pick you up for every date cause you don’t got a car or your is not working AGAIN kind of girl
Don’t want to be your hold down two jobs while you perfect your skills at ever videogame console kind of girl

Don’t want to be your pretend to be dumber or suck at stuff so I don’t hurt your ego kind of girl
Don’t want to be your keep my mouth shut because disagreeing leads to fights or shout matches kind of girl
Don’t want to be your call you 10 times or ride by your block just to keep you in check kind of girl
Don’t want to be your spend hours on myself to look good for you only for to look at the next girl while we on a date kind of girl
Don’t want to be your keep your voice down cause my friends don’t know about you kind of girl

I do want to be your lawfully wedded, vow and love offering wife in front of God and all kind of woman.
I do want to be a your there in sickness and health, for the good and the bad, to support, respect you, laugh and cry, and there till death do us part kind of woman.
I do want to be your freak when it’s right while mothering your children and holding the home down kind of woman.
I do want to be fantasy that shows up anywhere anytime and would do in your office like it ain’t nothing kind of woman.
I do want to all your best friend and everything you need so that you never take me for granted kind of woman.