Real

I’m too shallow these days to get deep

With my words when all I feel lie on the surface

Of emotions so raw that a slight scrape can split

The thin skin holding it all in

I want to be able to say point blank that you disgust me

Not that your essence makes me wallow in agony

Because those words are too pretty for you

Why can’t I just say I’m tired

Instead of fatigue crushes my bones

Since I need but one word to say it all

I lost my patience ages ago

And when I wade it, my tolerance is only toe deep

Barely high enough to cover a penny

The only amount I’m willing to pay for what you’re worth.

Lovaholic

I am a lovaholic through no fault of my own

I was preconditioned to not be alone

Was told even a girl living in cinders could one day find love

Not knowing the only love guaranteed was that from above

Every little girl does not grow up be the princess

With skin so pretty and body so flawless

Don’t want to rain on your parade

But you may just always play bridesmaid

Now I live with a compulsion to engage in acts

Or rather activities that do not add, but subtracts

From my character as I strive to unearth

The blemishes in my character that downgrades my worth

I exist in a constant state of obsession to track down

The love that was promised me and the wedding gown

That I dreamed of as a child reading of a white knight

And a damsel that should be me caught in his sight

Us lovaholics don’t know when to quit

Doesn’t matter if more pain is caused just to get a bit

Of satisfaction of that thing we crave

Blind to the type destruction that could pave

The road to hell and back

Not caring that each relapse is a setback

That we cannot afford to transpire

Since every obstacle spreads disaster like a brushfire.

I am a lovaholic, through no fault of my own

I was preconditioned to not be alone

They call this dating

I was standing at the airport and overheard a girl on the phone
"Oh my god, he was so not my type, but he was so nice
And he paid for dinner, open my doors and when we got to hotel
he actually walked me to the door. Have you ever heard of that?
He wasn't even that cute, but I invited him in and ...."

Well she walked away, but you can imagine. I was so disheartened
What has this world come to that chivalry must now be rewarded with sex or an invite for a nightcap.
I mean how hard is it for a young attractive woman to find a date who
Opens the doors, pay for dinner and walk her to the door.
Apparently very hard cause I started thinking about my past dates
Maybe it would have been easier if I'd met them offline
Ladies, be skeptical about a full body picture that's only 2 inches long
In his distant picture, guy one was GQ
But he showed up for the date looking Eweew
Dude had a shirt that was beyond wrinkle and dare I say it, dirty jeans
No not the color, it was just plain dirty
We met at the movies and when he showed up, told me that he had
Had to gas the car and wondered if I'd get this date
My momma always told me; take enough to pay your way
I paid for the date and fool had the nerve to ask if I want a snack
What, so I can shell out more cash?

I got had by date number 2
I was flattered that he drove 4 hours to see me,
Little did I realized how much it would really cost me
We... I mean I drove us 2 hours away from my small town
Spent an hour going through sex shops and this was before he fed me
Drove back home and went to IHOP
Where he paid for his meal and left me to pay mine and the tip
Can you believe he thought he deserved to get some?
What he got was the couch and a one way trip back where he came from.

On another site, I met date 3
We talked for weeks and he seemed real cool
I wasn't attracted, but the conversation was good...until
Until we met in person
Oh he paid the bill which I thought was nice
And spent so much of the night talking down his ex wife
I felt I was married to her by the date's end
I didn't know, that was just a link, to get to my friend
who wouldn't take his hint.

Now comes date 4 the kind I run into a whole more
Whatever happened to the telephone?
To voicemails and whispered chats
Remember when you would call someone up
Just to chat?
Or they would call you up and ask if you were busy
And then chat?
Now thanks to technology, speech is being eradicated
Phone numbers are simply for texting
And voicemails are ignored in lieu of emails
With this guy it took effort from website to IM to email then gave him my number
Only for him to keep sending me dang text messages
If I knew you only wanted to do thumb typing
I could have saved up my texts and skipped giving you the number
Whatever happened to the telephone?
To voicemails
And people using the lure of their voice to seduce?
No wonder I didn’t even bother go on a real date.


Is it any wonder a girl can get excited about a guy who opens the door, pays the bill and walks her to her door and not expect anything?

Empowered

I guess this is the part where I’m supposed to say you broke my heart
Skip that, brother, I feel like I now have a new start
I guess this is the part where I’m supposed to cry
No way, with all I have, I’m going to fly
I guess this is the part where I hide away in pain
I don’t think so, I’ve got so much more to gain
With the time that you’ve wastedI see that as experience tasted
Now savored with thoughts of the tastes I’ve had before you
I take this mixture of samples from life
Concoct a dish some say should be served cold
The best revenge that I can dole outIs to live my own happily ever after
Thanks for the good times and the lessons learned.