Friday, August 28, 2009

Temp

Tell me her name
The other in this game
Merely a matter of time
Before I get that famous line
“Just want to hang out”
But I know what its about
I’m just not who you choose
Just a temp now for your use

Weightloss

I’ve been avoiding looking in the mirror
Watching the weight pile on my figure
Months and years of beating myself
Trying to resemble what my mind’s eye see
I’ve walked for miles to burn this off
Only for triggers to undo it all
I’ve starved myself from things I loved
To break the hold the cravings call
Now I’m ready to make the change
My makeover is complete and I lift up my head
I look in the mirror and love myself
The weight falls off and the pain dulled
Still have to be alert to me
Choose my steps so I don’t fall
But I know no matter what
I’m in there if I just look

I think he likes me

I think he likes me
Might even start to love me
Cause he don't text me
Instead he likes to call me

Says he misses my voice
That some others call noise
Might be early to rejoice
But he's not like other boys

Don't even own a facebook
Nor gives myspace a look
Twitter isn't off his hook
And goodness gracious he can cook

So excited I am
Listening to my heart slam
Wondering if it's a sham
That's when the alarm decided to "wham"

Not that into me

You’re just not that into me
And from what I see
This was not meant to be
I know had it been she
You would be flirty
Get on one knee
Ask her to marry
But as for me
I have to wait and see
Smiling patiently
Caught up in a tie of three
Waiting for reply after call 20
Why not say you’re not that into me

Spill

I’ll take this knife out of my back
And stab you in the belly
Spilling your guts as you never did to me
Instead of slits on your wrist
Done across instead of along the veins
With you spilling slowly
Instead of in the gushes that I craved
To know you but only getting
Enough to stain my heart
And keep me hooked and hanging on
Oh yeah, you’ll spill
You’ll tell me what I ever did
To make you suffocate me with hope
Only to toss me back in the waves
When you know I can’t swim anymore
Just you wait, I’m coming

Birthday message

On this day 3 decades ago
Heaven dropped an angel
Or the devil kicked you out
Full of mischief
You found your place
Doing your time
Till you go back home
Needless to say
You’ll leave your mark
On those that you meet
Things you touch
And acts you do
And though duty calls
In the day and the night
Take to heart on this day
Someone’s thinking of you

In memory of a stalker

How sweet it was to be stalked by you
I miss the way I would see you sneaking
Around the Wal-Mart pretending not
To know that I would be in there shopping.
I miss the way I used to find hidden cameras
In the house because you wanted to know
What I was doing all through the day
I miss how you used to sit in your window
With the binoculars and watched my comings and goings
I miss how you kept track of my schedule
And made sure you were out of the house before I arrived
I miss how you sat in the car outside the restaurants
And watched me on a date cause you were worried
I would take off with some stranger
I miss how you took out my trash from the curb
So you could learn more about me
If you hadn’t violated the terms of the
Restraining order, I’d still be enjoying your
Attention from a distance of 50ft or more
How sweet it was to be stalked by you

Fair warning

I’ve got a crush
On your man
You see you talk too much
About his hands
And that thing he does
With his tongue when he’s
Got you spread out and
I just want a taste of his
Mindset and a bit of that
Attention he always pays you
When you walk into a room

So I find myself thinking
Of how to sample some
Of his kisses when you
Leave the room and we
Are alone for a moment
When he catches my eyes
I think he feels as I do
And if you don’t quit sharing
So much about the tricks he’s
Got I might just do what comes naturally
Before curiosity kills my kitty cat

Sure we women bond
When we share the stories
Of our loves and lives
But watch out for when a
Girl hasn’t had any in a while
Don’t share too much cause that’s
A temptation some just can’t
Resist the envy that sets in
And hunger wins over common
Sense and friendship

Out of respect and the fact
That I’ve been sober thus far
I will hold back, but the next
Time we party too hard and the
Drinks run a bit too long
Don’t leave us alone or
We might be on Springer while
I tell you that I’m taking your man
Home with me.

Silent ringtone

It’s been days since the phone rang
I start to wonder if it ever sang
During the times of the night when I sleep
But no missed calls and no message beep
Wonder if anyone knows to miss me
Why do I pay for this plan…maybe
I’m in a dead zone
And someone is calling my phone
But I can’t hear my silent ring tone

I find myself calling cell
When “She got her own” sang, my face fell
Cause now I know that my line works
And the others’ must have quirks
That they don’t know about so I’ll
Text something, make them smile
I do not postpone
Send out a message with a light tone
Thinking this time I’ll hear my silent ring tone

Not one reply
I just want to cry
Check the “texts out”
They were all sent with a doubt
Now with tears in my eyes
I might have to improvise
I slowly picked up my silent phone
Dialed 611 cause I felt so alone
Told of my problem with the silent ring tone

When the clock strikes 12

This year has been with ups and downs
Fighting for a promotion, but You saw me through
Was used by a few, but You were there
Was lied to by dates who pretended to care
But through it all You guided my heart
You did not close me off
You helped me forgave
You let me know I’m not in this alone
So just like last year
When the clock strikes 12
While my loved ones are somewhere else
I’ll be in Your house
Praising You, thanking You, worshiping You
And asking that you continue to see me thru
Another New Year.

Self promises

It’s that time of the year
Not that of Christmas cheer
Certainly not for family or gifts
It’s the time we contemplate what-ifs
Doesn’t matter of the hows
It’s that time to make our yearly vows

I promise to start …
To quit …
To make …
To take …
To do …
To save …
I promise to promise myself
And if I had a dollar
No a dime
A nickel
Better yet a penny for ever person
Who fails to fulfill these self promises
I could retired and help end world hunger

So as I finis my last drink
And stand on the brink
Of consciousness and oblivion
Struggling to remember this year’s mission
I promise not to vow
Then kneel and take my toilet bow

The way you...

The way you walk
With confidence and presence
And absolute sureness that
Here is where you should be
And wherever you are is where it all is
That’s what draws me to you

The way you speak
With intelligence and humor
And wit that pulls in your audience
You captivate all those who
Are close enough to hear the whisper of your voice
That’s what pulls me to you

The way you laugh
With heart and emotions
And make others want to join in
So addicting to my ears
That I instantly want to be part of your joy
That’s what lures me to you

The way you kiss
So fully and deeply
And with your entire body
That surrender is the only option
You give and take breath away
That’s what attracts me to you

Uniform

Shyt, I did it again
I had a relapse
I’ve been doing so
Good that I thought
I could come within
Paces of my addiction
And still remain sane
But then I reverted to
The idiot I become
Drooling for a taste
After a glimpse of you
In that camo
I don’t know if it’s you
Or if any man in blues
Will do but I do love
A solid man in uniform

Pull my hair

Don’t you dare pull my hair
Yes it’s mine, was bought a pair
Passionate grabs and urgent yanks
Will far from leave me saying thanks
Pocahontas May to June
Styles that make you drool and swoon
Through these locks no fingers run
Surprising slaps there will be none
Braids and plaits sometimes ok
You’ll be safe just you obey
Wigs and weaves you just can’t tell
So don’t touch or bid farewell
Call it lies or call it fake
Pulling on is still a mistake
It’s so clear me, Mista
You’ve never had a sista
Unless you know tugs make her moan
A black woman’s hair is a forbidden zone.

Pull my hair

Don’t you dare pull my hair
Yes it’s mine, was bought a pair
Passionate grabs and urgent yanks
Will far from leave me saying thanks
Pocahontas May to June
Styles that make you drool and swoon
Through these locks no fingers run
Surprising slaps there will be none
Braids and plaits sometimes ok
You’ll be safe just you obey
Wigs and weaves you just can’t tell
So don’t touch or bid farewell
Call it lies or call it fake
Pulling on is still a mistake
It’s so clear me, Mr
You’ve never had a sister
Unless you know tugs make her moan
A black woman’s hair is a forbidden zone.

Dear Heart

Dear Heart
We need to talk
You’re way too rash
You never listen to me
Impulsive with your action
I never get a word in.
Only when things go awry
Do you consult with me.
Well, you know what?
I’m tired of you ignoring me
And not respecting my input
Until you need to talk your way
Out of a sticky situation
If I could, I’d leave you
But apparently just like a woman
I can’t live with you or without
Frustratedly,
Your mind

In love with the idea

I’m in love with the idea of you as you would be
If I were the me you wanted me to be
I’m in love with the thought of what we could do
If my thoughts could encompass all the possibilities of us
I’m in love with the memories that we share
If memories could be merged and our recollection identical
I’m in love with the potential of our love
If potential was actual and not dependent on will
I’m in love with idea of happily every after
If the time never ends and neither do we
I’m in love with being in love with you

Inner Struggle

She said she had to stop herself from stopping herself
From returning to pain that she locked away
Crying the tears to help cleanse her soul
And as I listened to the words
I thought of my tears
So far buried that I don’t remember the feel
Of wetness on my cheeks that are not from shower waters
Or from droplets of rain
She said she had to face the demons of her past
And forgive herself for the mistakes she made
In letting him back time and time again
The scars had faded and forgave him she had
But in the process she locked herself away
A slip of the tongue from a friend
Made her reevaluate her link to herself
Standing next the heat of her anger and pain
The ice melted away and her feelings emerged
She had to stop herself from stopping herself from letting it all out
She’s healing now.

Text Message Breakup

OMG I’m ROTFLMAO
@ U & dat U think we can be FWB
When U can’t even call
ICU AAF, but BTDT and got a tee
You seriously CMU
Do U think I have no sense
I’m tired of giving clues
Do U ever talk? U no string words?
And not just acronyms?
Don’t U think I miss UR voice
Or rather the inflections or
Clues that text just don’t show
WTF? If U want to just txt
Don’t go out, don’t kiss, don’t date
If IM is the only form of talk 4U
GFY and get a friggin pen pal

Big Tip

Comb, snip, fluff and all
Laugh, giggle at his jokes as well
Dress for the occasion on his appointment days
Knowing beyond flirtation is how it really pays
Family at home makes him safe in the game
Worries of the wifey will ensure he’s tame
He wants me I know this
His gaze I can’t miss
With a Freudian slip
Or an intimate trip
I’ll be sure to get a bigger tip.

Vortex

I avoid the eyes
The windows to the soul
Fear of being sucked in
Cause the heart can’t resist
I forget to breathe
My words take a leave
Of absence that I can’t retrieve
The world disappears
My ears no longer hear
The world around us
I’m lost in this vortex
That your eyes sucks me into
So until I’m sure
That your heart can choose
Me first and leave the rest
I’ll look off to the side
Quick glances, never lingering
And avoid the eyes

Response to Webgirl: her side of the story

She didn't mean for him to land in jail
She just was curious of how it would feel
Her friends all did the deed with boys
And some even said that they tried toys
But in her mind she had a dream
An older man to boost her esteem
And experienced man would know what to do
She planned for it knowing it was taboo
She did a page claiming the age of eighteen
Knowing very well she was only fifteen
Visited the pages of guys much older
When they responded she got much bolder
Free to do what she liked on her own phone
She’d talk so dirty it caused them to moan
She finally met one from out of state
Before long falling in love and couldn’t wait
Few times she wanted to tell him her age
But was scared he would turn away in a rage
Feigning sick to stay home that day
When all along she was planning to play
Dressing a part 10 years advanced
High heels and string with her boobs enhanced
He never had a chance
When he entered and took a glance
Her very first lover
Would be out before daddy could discover
From chatting and reading she knew quite a bit
Keeping him distracted for fear he would quit
It all was incredible she lost track of time
Then daddy came home, the lover nabbed for a crime
As the cops led him out
She stood there in a pout
Her life still ahead
While her lover’s was dead
One would hope she had learned something
But when the verdict was read she was searching for her next fling

Belly dance

Hip thrust
Figure 8s
Isolations
Shimmies
Hip drop kick
My passion
My addiction
On stage
Swaying and twisting
Undulating and snaking my moves
There’s nothing
No one there
Watching me
Just you
As I belly dance

Disclaimer: I am not a stalker

Knowing your schedule every moment of a day does not make me a stalker
It just means you’re really predictable and I happen to go to the same places you do
Knowing things about your background without you telling me does not make me a stalker
It just means that your life is an open book for anyone with a people finder account
Taking pictures of you in random setting does not make me a stalker
It just means that you fall in my camera’s line of site when I’m doing photography
Owning pieces of your old clothing does not make me a stalker
It just means that one man’s trash and another’s treasure.
Showing up to your parent’s house for a visit does not make me a stalker
It just means your sister and I are taking the same classes
Now I can’t explain the whole bugging your house thing
Nor can I explain the why I was on your second floor balcony during your date
I can’t explain the Photoshop constructed pictures of you and me
And certainly not the tapping of your phones
But I can tell you that I’m not a stalker. It was all just coincidences.
Now if you promise not to scream I’ll remove the gag.

Longing

Will she ever be someone’s wife?
Sharing a part of another’s life
Will she ever be a body’s mother?
Meaning the most to that person than any other
In her lifetime she’s been a sister
And very surely a loving daughter
Some have even called her friend
With promises to be there till the end
But on the nights when she’s alone
With no one there to call here own
She wonders, will she ever be…

Stepford Employees

You all look alike
No not the Blacks or Whites
Nor the Asians or Hispanics alike
It’s you all corporate types
In your khakis and your shirts
Whites and blues
Grays and pales
Slacks and ties
Polos on casual Fridays
Stepford employees to a tee
You all look alike
Gender fades
Individuality a curse
Conformity the key to elevation
5PM my only motivation
When I can let down my hair
Lose the blazer and suits
Rush for my freedom
To be me until 9AM

But you the dude

Why you want me dancing on you
Last I check, I thought it was s’pose to be the dude
You got the dickey
And I can’t make a sticky
So why when we dancing
I find you turning with you booty in my oochie
Like I’m supposed to be humping on you

What you waiting waiting to feel
Maybe you should dance with him for real
Cause when I’m feeling a song
And I’m jamming or grinding to the beat
I don’t want you face down booty back in my lap waiting for a tap
Sorry baby boy you cute, but I’m not like that

What am I supposed to do
Bend forward or bend back too
I came on the dance floor thinking I’d cut a little rug
Maybe two-step or sway with some dude at my back
But instead I have a man with an incessant need
To dance with his back to me

Sorry pal, but I didn’t bring a dong today
Nope I can’t give your booty any play
I just want someone who has the rhythm
To keep up with me on the dance floor
To hug me and squeeze me
But most importantly dance with me face to face.